Toasted Sister
by Hunger Fangirl
Summary: It's what Katniss has always dreamed of: a chance to participate in the Hunger Games, Panem's annual hunt for the best band. A bit of friendly competition is always fun, but she must remember not to become too invested. After all, it's only the Hunger Games. They're not going to kill you if you lose. Oh wait. Band AU, total crack.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Hunger Games. I know that's a shocker.

**A/N:** Written for Zero using the Caesar's Palace prompt 'music notes.' The T rating is for swearing, nudity, and violence.

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Four competitors left. Katniss grabbed Gale and Peeta's hands as they waited for the announcement, worried that they would not be moving on to the grand finale. Twenty bands had already had to go home, and Caesar Flickerman was seconds away from announcing who would make that twenty-one. Her heart sank as the host of the popular television show turned to her. "Toasted Sister," he began, "you're safe."

Gale hollered in excitement, and Peeta clapped his hands. Katniss was too stunned to do anything. This was it. She really had a chance. In the audience, Haymitch, their mentor, tipped his flask towards them in celebration. Katniss smiled at him and dragged her attention back to Flickerman, who was about to announce this week's elimination.

The man looked down at the card in his hands and looked towards Wiress and Beetee. "Nuts and Volts," he said, "you've wowed audiences these last few weeks with your futuristic techno, but, unfortunately, our viewers at home feel that you aren't cut out to be mainstream pop artists. I'm very sorry to announce that you have been eliminated."

Wiress smiled and gave him a hug, but Beetee was more serious. "The rules of the Hunger Games were written into law by men. Surely they can be unwritten?"

Caesar seemed confused. "I'm not sure what you're asking, but it's fantastic to see that you're both being such good sports!" He turned back to the camera. "I hope you'll all join us next week as our three remaining competitors, the Career Pack, the Shallow Waters, and Toasted Sister return to vie for the ultimate crown!"

The cameras stopped rolling, and Katniss followed Gale and Peeta offstage. "Great job, guys," she said.

Peeta beamed at her. "So, Katniss," he said. "I know that we have a great thing going, with me being your ridiculously nice, entirely non-threatening friend, but I think we should date now."

"Fuck you, Mellark!" Gale shouted. "Katniss and I have been friends for years, and we hung out all the time while you were making frosting flowers or whatever the hell it is you do! She wants to be my girlfriend."

"The hell did all this come from?" Katniss pushed them both away and went to the elevator. She pressed the button for the lift, but it must have been on the top floor, because it was taking _forever_. Damn those boys. What were they thinking, pulling all this love shit on her right before the finale?

"Having problems, Everdeen?" She spun around and was met with two gorgeous green eyes. Finnick Odair. Of course it had to be Finnick Odair, Panem's golden boy. He'd won the Hunger Games as a solo artist at fourteen, and he'd been living it up in the Capitol ever since. This year, his legions of fangirls had gotten the rules changed so that he could enter again, this time as one third of the Shallow Waters trio. Katniss didn't like the sappy ballads he and Annie sang, and she thought it was odd that they had a little old mute woman in their band, but Finnick's abs and pecs had been more than enough to guarantee them a spot in the final three.

She struggled to find a reply. "Nope," was the best she could come up with.

"Well, it sounds to me like you have two guys chasing after you. Want to make it three?" Finnick struck a ridiculously provocative pose.

Katniss had to laugh. "Now you just sound like you're in the middle of a really bad fanfic," she said. "Annie is probably looking for you."

"You're probably right. Have a nice day, Everdeen." He dug around in his pockets. "Here, have some sugar cubes."

Katniss accepted them and popped one into her mouth. "Thanks, Finnick. See you tomorrow."

Finally, the lift arrived. Katniss stepped on, and another woman slipped inside before the doors closed. "You were amazing tonight," she said as she started to step out of her skirt.

"I have never met you before. What the fuck are you doing?"

Johanna shrugged. "I'm getting you off balance of course."

"You're not even in this competition! What's the point of freaking me out?" Katniss backed as far away from the other woman as she could in the cramped elevator.

A puzzled expression came to her face. "I'm not really sure, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Mind if I get off?" When Katniss nodded, she pressed the button to stop at the next floor. She tugged her skirt back on and waved before stepping off.

When the doors opened on the twelfth floor, she was surprised to see "How did you all get back here so quickly?" she asked. She had taken the first elevator up to the floor, and she didn't think they could have gone up the stairs that quickly.

"Are you really worrying about temporal impossibilities now, sweetheart? We've got a contest to win!" said Haymitch. "C'mon, sit down. We're having a strategy meeting."

Katniss moved to sit between Gale and Haymitch, carefully avoiding eye contact with either of her bandmates. "So, what were we thinking so far?"

"I thought we should be nice to everyone else. Maybe bake them cookies. Who doesn't like cookies?" said Peeta.

Haymitch groaned. "There's a reason we don't let him make the plans."

It was Gale who spoke next. "I think we should make a big spectacle. Make the Capitol think hard about what we'll do to them if we don't win."

"It's just the Hunger Games, Gale. It's not like they're going to kill us if we don't win." Katniss sat back in her chair. "Why don't we just do our best?"

"You're sure we can't bake something?" Peeta asked.

"Go nuts, Mellark," Haymitch said. "And you, too, Hawthorne. Just try to keep it non-violent, all right?"

The two boys grinned. Gale left to start work, but Peeta stayed for just a moment. "Ooh, I think Finnick'll want some sugar cookies, and maybe Brutus is a fan of chocolate chip. What do you think, Katniss?" He looked thrilled to be back in his true natural habitat, the kitchen.

"I don't care, Peeta." After he left, Katniss looked to Haymitch. "Remind me why I have bandmates again?"

Haymitch took a long swig from his flask. "You need some allies. You don't want to face the Career Pack alone." The Career Pack was a huge threat to Toasted Sister's success. Cashmere, Gloss, Brutus, and Enobaria had all trained practically since birth to win the Hunger Games. They wouldn't give up easily.

"Oh yeah, them. Why do we always have to be the underdogs?"

"Dramatic effect. People just don't route for you the same way if you're the obvious choice." Trust Haymitch to cut straight to the heart of the matter.

Katniss sighed. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. I think I'm going to go train. It'll probably help more than cookie baking and whatever Gale's up to."

"Good plan." Haymitch set down his flask. "What songs are you going to practice?"

She couldn't keep the confusion off of her face. "Songs? I was going to go do some target practice. Fuck, Haymitch, don't be thick."

"Eyes on the prize, Everdeen. Eyes on the prize."

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Finally, the time had come. The big finale. The night when all of Katniss's dreams could come true. She peeked out between the curtains at the waiting audience. "Got any last advice for me, Haymitch?" she asked.

"Stay alive," her mentor answered.

Katniss frowned. "Okay, then. That was already in the plan, but thanks, I guess."

"Remember, Prim, at the end of the song, press this button," Gale said. Primrose nodded and took the remote before getting into position.

"Are we all ready?" Katniss asked. Gale and Peeta grabbed their guitars and nodded, and Katniss squared her shoulders as Caesar introduced them. They walked onto the stage to a huge round of applause. Katniss basked in the adoration for just a moment before picking up her guitar and starting the intro to the song. For tonight, she'd chosen not to sing one of her original songs, but a rock cover of a folk song her father had sung to her when she was little. She hoped the audience would pick up on the emotion behind her words and be as moved as she was.

_Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free_

_Strange things did happen here_

_No stranger would it be_

A huge blast cut her off, and she saw her sister fly through the air. Katniss could see flames, but when Prim landed in front of her, she still hoped that her sister was all right. No such luck. She was burnt to a crisp, and when Katniss searched for a pulse, she could tell that Prim was gone.

"That was awesome!" said Gale. Katniss could hear Brutus laughing offstage as well.

"What the fuck, Gale? Why'd you have to be such a pyro?" Katniss screamed at him.

Peeta frowned. "It was really mean of you to blow up her sister, Gale. You should apologize." He turned to Katniss. "And you should definitely date me now. _I'd _never set your little sister on fire."

Caesar's voice echoed through the auditorium. "It's a terrible tragedy that's befallen your sister, Katniss, but we need to announce the victor now. So if you could move the corpse off the stage, it'd be much appreciated."

Gale helped her carry Prim's body away, and they came back to the stage. Nothing was going to change the fact that Prim was dead; she might as well see who won. She found Finnick standing on the stage in just his underwear, flexing. Half the audience seemed to be drooling. _Well, there go any chances of us winning_, Katniss thought. Still, she took her spot next to Peeta and waited for Caesar to say who had won.

The man seemed to be in a hurry to get the broadcast over with, and he ripped open the envelope without any added fanfare. "I have a very special announcement this evening. The President has decreed that this year, we will have two winners of the Hunger Games, both the traditional all-around victor and something new and exciting. The all-around winner of this year's Hunger Games, I'm proud to announce, is … The Shallow Waters!"

The audience burst into applause, and Finnick gathered Annie Cresta into his arms for a celebratory kiss. At that, a portion of the audience booed, but somehow, there were enough Odesta shippers there to drown them out.

Katniss raged. She was happy for Finnick, Annie, and Mags, yes, but she couldn't help but feel that today had been an utter failure. Her sister had died. She hadn't won the Hunger Games. Damn it, she wasn't even having a good hair day. Why couldn't something go her way for once?

Caesar allowed the applause to die down before continuing, "And the special award this year goes to the most aptly named band. As you all must guess, this award will be presented to none other than Toasted Sister!"

She heard the crowd cheer again, but Katniss was in no mood to accept such a perverse prize. She stormed backstage. Gale and Peeta followed her after accepting the award on behalf of the group.

"So, Katniss, I know you're mad about Prune or Prime or whatever her name was, but what do you think about dinner on Saturday?" Gale asked.

Peeta spoke before Katniss could say anything. "Gale, Katniss is going through a really rough emotional period right now. I don't think she wants to go on a date with you." Peeta was such a nice friend, she reflected, but then he continued, making her change her mind. "That's why she'll want to be my girlfriend instead."

"Shut up, both of you. Not another word," Katniss said in her most threatening voice. Both of the men had seen her shoot before, so they quickly went quiet. Satisfied at their reaction, Katniss looked over the room to see if there was anybody more interesting. _A-ha_. Maybe this day was salvageable. She walked to the opposite side of the room, where Johanna and Haymitch were laughing. "Hello, gorgeous," she said.

"Brainless," greeted Johanna. Katniss silenced her with a kiss. Fuck those boys. She had _exactly _what she wanted. Well, except her sister. It would have been nice if Prim hadn't died.

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A/N: Do I know it's stupid? Yes. Do you know it's stupid? I assume so. Was it amusing? Hopefully. Even if it wasn't, thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it.

~Hunger Fangirl


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